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Rayleigh CC v Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team on Thu 10 Dec 2015 at 9pm
Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Won by 6 runs
Match report
The Over 40 “Moobs and Bellies” suffer a shock in Chelmsford
(There is a picture floating around the ether of the team to go with this headline but it wont come in)
It is with a heavy heart that I compose this match report. The level of abuse this reporter has had to put up with since writing these reports has meant that an internal investigation has had to be initiated. The vilification has come from all sides of the club (No, not all sides, just the team and the reason is that the reports bear no resemblance to the matches…Ed. My response to that unwarranted libellous allegation is that there may have been some embellishments to make the other players look good and yah boo sucks to you).
Okay…to the match.
If you have been following this team for the last few months you will have noticed a distinct theme. If you’ve not been and this is your first report then ‘shame on you’ as you have missed some rollercoaster of reports telling of the Over 40 trials and tribulations of playing in this league. (Cor blimey, you said ten minutes ago that you were going to write a match report and all I am reading at the moment now is blah blah blah…Ed). Look Ed, this ‘blah blah blah’ you are referring to is what I call preamble or dramatic atmosphere building, where the reader is hanging on every word. Look all that we can appear to agree on is that you right long fictitious and fatuous match reports, so let’s leave it as that…Ed)
So with much complaint, I bring you a match report. The match begun later than normal as the opposition hadn’t arrived due to a closure of the A127 so players had to find another way to the hallowed hall. Anyway, Messrs Chambers, Khan, Lord, Aziz, Piracha and Chesney enter the arena having won the toss and elected to bat. Messrs Khan and Chambers are the openers. Chambers, commonly known as JC and the leading run scorer in the Shepherd Neame League. Well he lasts three deliveries before being bowled. Stunned silence would normally befall a team at such dismissal, but no, not us. Shouts of ‘you’re dropped’ and ‘that was a shocking leave, don’t you know where your stumps are?’. A golden duck later saw Ibrahim walk passed the departing Lordy only to depart a couple of balls later letting the No 3 bowler Matloob Piracha? Into bat. A couple of deliveries later Fayyaz gives the fielders some catching practice and the keeper is hauled into batting duty. So at the crease we have the last two batsmen….who had announced when the wickets were tumbling that Wanstead may well be heading back down the A13 earlier than anticipated. 26 for 4 was not a good score. Well the tail, it did wag. Wanstead all out for 64. A far more promising score than had been envisaged after the first 4 overs disasters. However the last two were knackered at the end of the innings. Running like they have never experienced before. Well done Matloob another 25+ total, you saved Wanstead’s blushes but ruined my calves, my Achilles, my thighs, not to mention all of the other muscle groups that were used to make you look good. Even my fingers are crying as I type this marvellous piece.
(Right Ed…what have you got to moan about now. I think that the previous paragraph is focussed on the match and not too embellished!?)(Just get on with finishing the piece will you!...Ed)
Back to the report, I disappear into the dressing room to change my attire to a more appropriate look for a Wicketkeeper. I return and the opposition are ready and the Wanstead are ready. The Umpire calls ‘PLAY’ and JC opens up Wanstead bowling response at 80mph. The over goes ‘Dot Dot Dot Dot Dot and a 3’. A very promising start, apart from the ball that gave three runs away. Shocking wide delivery that gave the outstanding keeper not a hope of stopping. Next over Fayyaz enters the arena, the spinning wizard who received instructions about how to bowl properly from his keeper last time. Anyway, this time around the keeper stand above the crowd, holding onto three deliveries and taking a run out. This week the team gave out the necessary praise for this achievement while the keeper took the applause from the gallery (of 3 people, let’s not go over the top about it…Ed). JC comes back into the attack and takes another wicket. Fayyaz comes back into the attack and having given the keeper the key to where the balls were going, nothing got by the keeper this evening…astounding work, splendid teamwork. No wickets and only a few runs got in this over. In comes Matloob Piracha, otherwise known as Piracha!? by the league personnel. Some crappy bowling outside off stump seen off by the batsman is forgotten when a flukey delivery cuts back and takes off the legs stump bails, the opposition are three down. We are in with a chance of winning this we yell. Lordy comes in for an over, he only gets one tonight…shocking, nothing to add. Piracha comes back and hits the batsman pads a couple of times forgets to appeal after a couple of LBW appeals are turned down but eventually gets the last wicket LBW…we are going home victorious. By the skin of our teeth we get the win and go second in the league. One match to go before the playoffs are decided.
Overall an astonishing performance tonight from the Over 40’s in the bowling and keeping camps. The batting and fielding performances were…shocking, 4 players unable to collect a slowly moving ball, hilarious, even the umpires were laughing with the opposition. Fielder struggles to throw the ball to the keeper (what was going on here Alan), fielder watches the ball slowly move under their falling body and still not collect it…slow motion falling isn’t that correct, Ib?
I am going to end on a positive note…despite their obvious frailties, the Over 40’s are still on a winning streak… C’mon you oldies!
Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team Batting
Player Name
Runs
M
B
4s
6s
SR
Ct
St
Ro
extras
TOTAL :
for 6 wickets
0
64
Ramon Chesney
Matloob Piracha
John Chambers
Ibrahim Aziz
Alan Lord
M. Fayyaz Khan
Rayleigh CC Bowling
Player name
Overs
Maidens
Runs
Wickets
Average
Economy
No records to display.
Rayleigh CC Batting
Player name
R
M
B
4s
6s
SR
extras
TOTAL :
for 6 wickets
0
58 (10.0 overs)
 
 
 
 
 
 
Wanstead and Snaresbrook Cricket Club Over 40's Indoor Team Bowling
Player Name
Overs
Maidens
Runs
Wickets
Average
Economy
No records to display.
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